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Kobe vs. Jordan – the Non-Comparison

Cosmo Catalano June 14th, 2008

The trophy that Kobe can't win(After the 2009 NBA Finals, I revisited this topic with some suggestions for the second half of Kobe’s career.)

There’s a lot of crap in my life that I’m sick of. Websites that make you register. “Green” vehicles that get 22 miles per gallon. Stores that call you a “guest” instead of a customer—I mean, WTF? If you were a guest at my house and I made you pay $10 bucks to use my wireless network, would you ever come back?

Anyway, with the NBA Finals underway, there’s a lot of talk about whether or not Kobe Bryant is as good as Michael Jordan. After Game 4, in which the Celtics stormed back to win from a 20+ point deficit in Los Angeles, while Kobe got shut down faster than clicking hardrive at an IT convention, most of that is gone.

But, being the objective guy I am, I’ve decided to compile a list of things at which Kobe Bryant is superior to Michael Jordan:

  1. Whining – after every drive that couldn’t have been made with a blindfold on, even the ones where he scores, Kobe turns to the ref and shouts, making some gesture to indicate that his jersey was tugged or his arm was held. Jordan just backpedaled down the court and played defense—better than Kobe does.
  2. Retiring – Kobe could still blow this one. He currently has zero failed retirements to Jordan’s two, but he’s just so freakin’ unpopular with teammates and standoffish with fans that I can’t imagine anyone would want him back.
  3. Dodging Rape Allegations – Honestly, this one might just be a trick of circumstance. I feel like if Jordan ever had to dodge any rape allegations, he would have done so better than Kobe.
  4. Gambling - I could be way off on this one, but numerous people claim to have won tremendous sums of money from MJ, including one claim in excess of $1,000,000. Kobe might have similar losses that I just don’t know about, but in my experience, only interesting people gamble.
  5. Stonewalling - Seriously, if I were to engage in some sort of criminal conspiracy with with either Kobe or MJ, I would go with Kobe, since he’s really good at being cold, unfriendly, and not talkative. That’ll come in handy, should he be taken into custody. Jordan would be all garrulous, charming the cops and trying to sell them McDonald’s or Nike or whatever.
  6. Wearing an Arm Sock – Grasping for straws, I know. But Jordan never wore an arm sock. Kobe wins by default.

Now lets compare this to the list of things in which Jordan’s skill exceeds Kobe’s:

  1. Basketball – No contest here. 6 titles, 5 MVPs, and no 20+ point comebacks in the Finals by opposing teams on his home court vs. 1 MVP and no titles without Shaq (though a 2008 title is still possible). Jordan also did it against tougher competition.
  2. Marketing – The fact that Kobe plays with a friggin’ undershirt on but MJ remains the Hanes spokesman speaks volumes about the divergence in natural salesmanship between the two. Kobe couldn’t sell smack to a junkie, where Jordan could get one clean just by flashing a smile.
  3. Acting – Jordan has a number of film credits (though not quite as many as Shaq), including the 1998 feature Space Jam, a film that was built around the MJ brand. He also appeared in real movies like He Got Game. Kobe just does a lot of talk shows.
  4. Baseball – During retirement #1, Jordan played poorly on a minor league baseball team. He also bought them a bus, but still, he didn’t look entirely out of place on that level. Kobe has yet to play professional baseball.
  5. Changing Jerseys – “When I come back like Jordan, wearin’ the four-five“ . MJ briefly played with the #45 jersey upon his return to the Bulls because his signature #23 had already been retired. I don’t see any #8 hanging from the rafters at the Staples Center, do you?
  6. Being a Teammate – Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, Horace Grant – Jordan made all these players better. He pressured them to succeed, but he never lectured them or chewed them out. He earned their respect. Kobe, not so much.
  7. Trivial Pursuit – This is just a guess. But Jordan has three years of study on an academically-eligible-to-compete level at North Carolina. Kobe did not attend college. (Related – how sick would it be to see a fourth Jordan comeback to play and complete his degree at UNC?

So yeah. Clearly no contest here. LeBron is already a better comparison to MJ, and he doesn’t even have titles yet.

Now if only I could get the New York Times to stop making me register.

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  • SoReal

    Michael Air Jordan – The Greatest Basketball Player Ever NBA Players Quotes: Magic Johnson – • “He’s special and I think there are only a few players that come around that are special.” • “This is what you live for to play Michael Jordan in the final.” And we all know what happened.” • “You had two players that excite you playing on the floor myself and Larry and now here come “one” that excite you playing in the air.” • This guy is an “Icon” he’s a one man show and how much we’re going to miss him you can’t even put in words.” Bill Russell – I guess what impressed me the most is that he is determined to be Michael Jordan every night. I never got the impression that he throw his shoes or uniform on and took the night off.” Clyde Drexler – • “He’s a Pros Pro, I mean even we like to watch him play when we’re not playing against him.” • “He’s a winner, he plays to win and he just doesn’t play to do all the fancy things.” Danny Ainge – “He can do so many things. He’s the only player in the league that I can think of that has no weaknesses.” Mitch Richmond – • “He plays above the rim; I mean some of the moves he makes it seem as if you guys are still in high school.” • “It doesn’t matter whose guarding him or whose there Patrick Ewing, Hakeem Olajuwon, etc., he’s going to the basket. “ Joe Dumars – • “I think he’s going to be okay the time before us, now and twenty years down the line. He’s going to be something that people look at and say he’s unbelievable.” • “95% of the plays are for Michael Jordan and the other 5% ends up in his hands anyways.” • “You become consume that he’s on the court and if you make a mistake it’s not even a question whether or not you’re going to get burnt, you’re burnt already.” Kevin Johnson – • “He defies odds and still comes up with the big baskets time and time again.” • “He dominates the game on the offensive end of the court, but he also dominates the game on the defensive end of the court.” • “He makes it looks so easy; he’s so graceful, like a ballerina.” Buck Williams – “People always talk about Magic Johnson and Larry Bird’s passing ability, but not too often do people recognizes Michael Jordan for the exceptional passer that he is.” Bill Laimbeer – “He’s the ultimate test for “Our” defense.” Dennis Rodman – “If you can defense Michael Jordan, then you can defense anything in the league, anything in the World.” Tim Hardaway – “I like his in your face dunk; he just comes down and slams it in someone’s face.” Horace Grant – There is no hangtime, like Michael Jordan’s hangtime.” Glen Rice – “He’s a “Great” defender, rebounder, shot blocker and definitely can score, he’s the total package.” Grant Hill – “He’s the “Ultimate” player in my eyes. If there were a player in the Webster’s Dictionary then it would have to be a picture of Michael Jordan.” Isiah Thomas – “I remember looking directly in his eyes and it was like whatever you do, whatever you say, we’re going to beat you. And once you get him like that all you can do is move aside because there’s no stopping this freight train.” After a four game sweep by the Chicago Bulls in the playoffs. Johnny “Red” Kerr – “It’s an unbelievable sight to be pulling into a hotel at 3:00 a.m. in the morning and you turn around the corner and all of a sudden the whole street is lit up as if a movie was been shot, but it’s just fans hoping to get a glimpse of Michael Jordan because the Chicago Bulls were arriving.” David Robinson – “Michael Jordan seems to have a little magic with him, it’s exciting, it’s fun to watch and it’s the stuff that “legends” are made of.”

  • SoReal

    Michael Air Jordan – The Greatest Basketball Player Ever NBA Coaches Quotes: Chuck Daly – • “What happens is he clicks on and the ball is his, the game is his and he will go on a tear that usually isn’t seen in this league very often.” • “It doesn’t entail me playing you necessarily; it’s our “five” playing “you”.” Jordan Rules? • “Well first off you starting talking about the fact that the “Guy” is literally embarrassing the league, he’s that good.” George Karl – “He’s a winner. You’re going to have to cut Michael Jordan’s heart out to beat him.” Paul WestPhal – “We can’t stop him; I never said we can stop him, no one can stop him.” After his Phoenix Suns lost to the Chicago Bulls in the 1993 NBA Finals.”

  • http://yahoo sean c

    are you kidding me? could mj play against the zone defense absolutely he torched the zone those 2 years at unc and he would run roughshod through today’s soft girlie rules nba no doubt if he were in his prime in this era there would never have been a comparison in fact he would be even greater with more titles while kobe was handcuffed by the celtics defense

  • http://yahoo.com shua

    Wow this debate must really stop….where to start? Stats, heart, talent???? I was blessed to grow up watching Jordan play. Everyone then, and even youth now try to emulate him. It was his awe which made us all glue to our attention to our t.v screens. I remember that hard physical era in which he played. He endured cuts, bloody noses, hard chops that were intended in taking him out of games. Coach Daily said that they had a rule that when Jordan drove into their paint to take him out. The Knicks concurred…Jordan was so used to these tactics that he would with integrity for the game just back peddle down the court and play harder defense after such fouls. I watch Kobe try so hard to do what Jordan did. He has a complaint almost every time he shoots. This has hurt the integrity of officiating in the league because he gets calls that are not even fouls, but anticipated sympathy for his play, and name. We all must remember the years in which Jordan broke our basketball hearts and retired to play baseball. During those years the west came back to life with Houston winning two titles, and San Antonio winning one. We all with no doubt know that if Jordan would have played those years, he would of won all three of those especially the San Antonio year because it was a shortened season. I watch Kobe these past years with extreme talent playing besides him, still with no success. I watch him dominate yes against younger talent in Orlando’s Dwight Howard and win a title. Yet I again watched in blessed amazement, and awe, Jordan dominate to win his first title against the dynasty of the Lakers with veterens of Magic, Worthy, Scott, and Jabar in L.A. I witnessed Jordan destruct Drexler, Barkley, Payton, Kemp, Malone, Stockton, Ewing, Miller, Bird, Dumars, Thomas, Wilkins, and all of their respected franchises. Who has Kobe destructed while chasing titles that fall into even the top twenty of all time as Jordan has. There should be no dispute, argument, or even debate about this anymore. It’s all a media ploy to sell the NBA. Everyone who was blessed to watch Jordan knows He is, was, and will always be the greatest player to play this game. Enough said…

  • http://www.golfgpspda.com Malika Mearns

    When Lebron decides where it is he wants to go it will make my fantasy basketball decisions a litte easier.

  • J. C. Vorland

    Jordan is the greatest of all time, no question about it. But don’t think he wasn’t vicious on the court, even to his own teammates. Read “The Jordan Rules” and “When Nothing Else Matters.” They are firsthand accounts of someone with incredible gifts and insane drive to win.

    Jordan slapped Steve Kerr, punched out Will Perdue, told Horace Grant he shouldn’t be allowed to eat on the team plane because he played poorly in a game, and called Kwame Brown some very unflattering things in practice after humiliating him in 1-on-1.

    I still love Jordan but don’t be fooled by the perfect smile. He’s a stone-cold assassin.

  • philippines basketball fan

    i like basketball and it became popular because of MJ. NBA owe a lot to MJ and not to Bird, Magic, or Shag or KOBE. I think thats th biggest or greatest achievement of MJ to basketball especially the NBA. If you remember the barcelona olympics, MJ is the man.

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